Oprah has approached the topic of polyamory a couple of times, but never in a head-on meeting with a fully functional family group. Now, it seems she is looking to interview a triad and I've considered signing up. I've been on television before, but of course I've never talked about poly where a whole nation could recognize my face and my partners. I want to be open and positive, but some strong fears still remain about how my Dad would react or what it would be like for my son at school.
I live pretty openly (I think) with my family in a suburban home. The neighbors all know we have a "roommate" and the neighborhood kids just nod at whatever adult they see as they pass by. Some of the restaurant owners in the neighborhood finally asked about my dates with two different guys and I said that I dated them both. I've gotten a pretty accepting attitude most of the time and I eat pretty well too!
But that acceptance is a lot different than having an entire nation of people looking at a brief image of my family without knowing who we are as people first. I might be mistaken, but I think that it is harder to judge this lifestyle when the person in front of you is someone you can identify with. On Oprah I'd be another brief interview without the benefit of time and perspective.
Maybe I'd gain some respect for this choice and the real life situations we share with monogamous couples. It is also possible that the backlash against our community (and my family) could be severe.
I've gained respect for those who stood up for their beliefs against a system of ingrained power and privilege. The courage it takes is tremendous. The grace to do so without compromising who you are when there is a reaction is amazing.
I've picked my battlefield here on the blog, at conferences and workshops where a small number of people can hear the grassroots message of acceptance and understanding. Not everyone is cut out to be Rosa Parks or Gandhi. Not everyone needs to be the leader. It is important, I think, to find the level at which you can speak for yourself and your choices and to make that voice heard.
What would you say to Oprah?
I look forward to hearing your voice ! Sarah Olivia
